I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
