Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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