last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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