my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
