Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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