Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
