It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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