Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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