I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
