evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
