So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
