How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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