if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
