Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
