Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
