this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need to calm my uterus...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
