I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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