My room smells like vodka and shame
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
