I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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