Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
