I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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