All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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