the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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