He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
