it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
