if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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