I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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