those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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