god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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