You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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