Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
