addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize