i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize