Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
