He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and she was petting her beer can
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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