i jhust puked up my retainher.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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