Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
