It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
