in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
