i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
