I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
me + whiskey = a bad person
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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