Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
