Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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