I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're a waste of cheezeits
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
