i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
