we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
