I hate all girls vehemently.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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