I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize