so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
