I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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