i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
