i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
