When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
