I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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