somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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