Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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