no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
