saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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