You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
