I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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