Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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